This is Just the Way I Am

Duncan Alldridge This is Just the Way I Am.jpg

We are all born with an innate aliveness, an energy, a longing to participate fully in life. This light rests within us all, waiting to shine brightly.

Yet we all had needs that weren’t met when we were younger. We wanted to belong, to feel safe or to be held in dignity, and stuff happens, sometimes traumatically, that gets in the way of our receiving these basic human needs.

So to help take care of ourselves, our bodies learned to control this aliveness.

So we adapt. And, over time we embody these subconscious adaptations. And these behaviours get so embodied, so familiar to us, that they become automatic. So when we feel pressure coming in, when our system is put under stress internally or externally, a response is triggered. We could say into categories: fight, flight, freeze, appease and disassociate.

As our response becomes embodied, it can feel we have no choice around it.

‘This is just the way I am.’

Have you ever heard yourself or someone you know say this? Have you said it?

Yet really, the ‘you’ reading this, is a self shaped by how you have skilfully adapted to uncertainty when basic needs weren’t met. There’s a fuller version of ourselves in process.

Are you longing to participate more fully in the world? 

We’re powerful when we are creatures of agency, of choice. And when we can work alongside our tendencies or difficult feelings, yet still act skilfully and in line with what’s important to us, then we follow things through as the best version of ourselves.

But these embodied tendencies go deep in us, and lie within whole cultures and societies. And much of the time we do not see it. And then we only see it when we see it.

Are you acting skilfully from a place of choice?

Your body knows stuff. It took care of you. It adapted when things got tough. Learning to come into deeper presence with our bodies helps us to tune in to our intelligence. Here we learn to feel, to pay attention to the present moment, and listen to our gut instinct, our intuition. 

Take time to listen. During a practice, on a walk in nature, cooking, cleaning, playing with the kids, anytime, tune in to the intelligence of your body. 

It took care of you, and knows much more than you think.

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We Lead with Our Bodies

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A Tonne of Science and Soul