Taking a Stand for What is Important

Who are the people in your life that deeply engage your attention and earn your respect? They may be close or distant to you, but when you listen to them speak, it's crystal clear to you what their values are and what they stand for.

Have you noticed how this happens? It's likely there is no hesitation, stumbling or self-effacing giggle. There is no confusion. Whatever the stand is they are taking, it is clear.

When I’m confused, or don’t want to face what's difficult, I take on a shrugging and dismissive demeanour. I talk unclearly. However, when I am centred, and embody the full sense of what I stand for, I feel strong and in alignment with what I'm saying.

Do you know this experience? What is your sense of these different states?

I was on Hampstead Heath a few years ago and a large group of kids were kicking a ball around outside the Gospel Oak cafe. There was a woman and her baby in a pram sitting quite close and I could see what might happen. After a while, one of the big kids provocatively kicked the ball hard and intentionally towards the pram.

I was sitting having a coffee with a close friend. The pot was stirring. I could feel my blood boil.

Now this young man is about 14, big for his age, and could easily land one on me. I don’t want to get into this out of my depth. I trust that my friend will stand with me if there’s more than just words. He used to do martial arts...

“NO!”

It's not rational and it comes from my guts.

My voice is loud and clear. That’s all I remember saying. I step forward and literally - stand. There’s a long moment. He faces up to me a little, but not fully.

“**ck off!” His lieutenants shuffle behind him. But they don’t rally. I stay still. Many more words come out of his mouth. The air is pregnant with tension. We have an audience.

There’s a shift of energy. He kicks the ball again very hard, but away from the tables. He turns away and shirks off with one other. When things are clear the woman’s partner, who wasn't around earlier, but has now come over, thanks me.

When have you taken a stand for what’s important? How did it feel?

When we take a stand, others may not be in agreement with us, but they see our commitment. They sense our values. By making a stand we build both a bridge and a boundary. Others may be drawn to align with us, or to draw a line to separate themselves.

When a stand is taken, new alliances are born.