Belonging to the Furthest Star

You know when you go for a walk at sunset and the light shifts all around, and then there’s a beautiful, incredible night sky.

You sense there’s something more going on than just you looking at the sky but yet it’s all so vast you somehow can't grasp it. You long for deeper relationship, but somehow you feel you miss the moment and pass on...

I was on a trip to Thailand with my friend Chris a few years ago. We’d got a boat to a small, virtually uninhabited island for the day and missed the trip back. So we had to stay there all night. After encounters with crabs and a chess game to try and stay awake, I lay on a wooden beach structure most of the night looking at the sky. It was beautiful. Yet I had never felt more deeply lonely and disconnected in my life. All that vast, incredible, mysterious beauty, and I felt an inner emptiness. There was a mystery out there, and within me, that I hadn’t yet had the courage to explore.

Have you known that too?

A loneliness when faced with awe and wonder?

It was some years before I learned gradually to shift this state of being.

When I feel disconnected now I put my hand on my heart. I feel my blood pump and the gift of breath flowing through me. There's a deep knowing I am alive. I offer a prayer. There’s a smile with life, especially alongside its challenges. I used to appreciate sunset as an onlooker, now I learn to participate. We are part of the same miracle.

When we see something beautiful, we can choose to practice being with it.

Stay a little longer than usual.

Feel your heart beat.

Imagine your feet rooted deep to the earth. Sense the cycle of life you are meeting. Be thankful, and deeply know that you are both part of the same mystery.