Taking a Stroll with Chaos

You know when you get caught in the deep chaos of life and things don’t make sense. And however hard you try to work the thing out, the chaos just seems to get stronger and stronger. Despite your best efforts, everything gets on top of you and it feels though there is no choice but to endure it, fight it - or let it bring you down.

Do things need to get so messy?

Chaos is necessary, without it we would not know form. Chaos is a swirling eddy, a stream of undefined and indeterminate flow, and it’s all around us. It is the inanimate darkness from whence we came when the Divine first breathed into us from the emptiness.

My most chaotic time was during a breakdown. It felt as if all my faculties were dissolving. My nervous systems went offline. I become a weeping shell of myself, a shadow, a ghost of who I once was. Literally, at times, a nervous wreck, underground, buried alive.

How have you strolled with chaos?

You know, sometimes the only way is - to go down with it. Because the chaos is waiting to transform you, to change you, and it’s only when something dies within you that there is space for something to be born. Being in chaos may the most painful, yet also the most transformational, experience you have.

There is a design to life, a cycle and a natural order of things. Order and Chaos. It’s all around us. When you’re right down deep in it, it’s hard to see, but trust there is a deep knowing within you of this pattern, something true that human hearts have always known.

So. Ask for support. Talk to people who care for you. Weep. Feel it all.

Seek others who’ve walked this life-walk. Choose to live differently for a while. You may just have to practice hanging in there and have faith. In Life, in God, in that you are loved, not alone and going through the ordeal for a precious reason. It will take all your courage and more, but you have the capacity, and in time, it will be worth it.