Being your Best Self when Life gets Challenging

Recently I’ve been in an internal chaos. Loss, closure and transition. All previous losses come up alongside my recent loss like long lost shadows. I know my grief will end when it ends. When it’s done with me, and when I move it.

I’ve had many losses before, and though none like this, I have a basic level of life practice in this state. I know a little of letting go.

My grief is an internal pressure state. It’s knocking me off ‘my stride’. I cry more tears than a heavy rainfall. It’s as if I’m having my life temperature taken. “Let’s just check-in and see how you’re doing Mr Alldridge.” 

It’s also a reckoning.

How resilient actually am I?

What happens to you when you are under stress or pressure? Which ‘you’ shows up in this state?

When we are under pressure, whether internally or externally, we revert to what we can call a basic level of practice. And here, we don’t tend to revert up, that is, our best selves don’t tend to show up here. We tend to revert down. That is like saying, we are at our least best when we are put under pressure.

If you go and run a 10K next week without preparation or training (practice) you are not likely to do really well and run it feeling pleasure, or satisfaction at your time (reverting up). It’s likely to be painful, you’ll suffer, and you may feel discouraged and end up walking or giving up (reverting down).

Behaviourally speaking, if you were asked by your line manager to complete a report by 5.30, and you are unused to receiving that type of request, you may finish the report, but the cost could be that you were short with the kids, and pushed your partner away with a blunt “when you want” when they asked you what time you were both having dinner. 

One of my foundational practices is writing. Yet it’s not fully embodied in me, hence when I’m low I don’t easily revert to the practice - hence this is my first post for a while :) 

Our tendency is to revert down to our less best, or less-practised selves, when under some kind of stress, internal or external.

How are you working on this in yourself? 

At work. At home..? 

In your leadership..?

Are you bothering?

We inhabit moving, changing bodies. Completing the 10K feeling satisfied, is evidence of practice, as is showing some patience with the kids, and being present with your partner when you have the exchange about dinner time.

Every second, consciously or unconsciously, we show up 'in the now’ in a basic level of practice (breathing, standing, listening, speaking..)

How are you practising the best version of yourself -  today?